:)

I need Him to root out the ugly selfishness in my heart and help me to love and see people the way He does.

Why am I like that? I let my unmet desires and expectations fester inside of me, and in that moment, I make a quick decision. I choose to love myself more than the friend standing in front of me.

Sometimes it’s tough to rejoice with those who rejoice. The more I grow in my walk with Christ, the more I see my need to grow in showing grace, kindness, and love. I need to think of myself less.

How To Show Genuine Love

Paul talks about showing this kind of genuine love in Romans 12: “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. . . . Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (vv. 10–15).

When I’m focused on Him and serving those around me with His love, I forget about myself!

Sometimes I think that weeping with those who weep is much easier than rejoicing with those who rejoice, especially when it comes to rejoicing with someone who has received something that I lack. I can cry with the best of them, but it’s a challenge to truly and fully rejoice in the blessing of another.

This is just one of the many reasons I need Jesus. I need Him to root out the ugly selfishness in my heart and help me to love and see people the way He does. Jesus can do that in me, and I have experienced His Spirit changing my heart. Here are three ways He is helping me to rejoice with others.

1. See All He Has Already Done

He is showing me how incredibly good and kind He is to me, which, in turn, helps me be grateful for what He has already given me instead of focusing on what I lack. Most significantly, Jesus took my place and absorbed the wrath of God, saving me from my sin!

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God (Rom. 5:6–9).

His kindness leads me to repentance, and His sacrificial love is enough for me. He has blessed me with every spiritual blessing (Eph. 1:3–4).

2. Focus on Serving

He has also given me a passion to use my gifts and talents for His kingdom. When I’m focused on Him and serving those around me with His love, I forget about myself! All of a sudden, my priorities change, and I’m more concerned with serving the One who gave so much for me. I find so much joy in using my gifts for His glory!

3. Think About Eternity

Finally, I’m learning to think about eternity and remember that I’m just an alien passing through (1 Peter 2:11). Suddenly, the things I want so much grow strangely dim. I begin to realize that it’s much easier to let go of unfulfilled desires when my mind is set on things that are above (Col. 3:1–2).

I want my outward, kind response to line up with a selfless, inward response. Jesus is doing just that within me, and He can do that in you, too. Just ask Him, and be ready to truly and fully celebrate in the victories, accomplishments, and blessings of those around you.

Whose victory can you celebrate today?

True greatness is rare. (That’s part of what makes it great!) Which is why it’s so refreshing to come across a great man who stood up for truth, purity, honesty, and sacrifice. I’m talking about Joseph. I’ve recently been studying his story in Bible. (You can read Joseph’s story, too, in Genesis 30–50.) Joseph endured trial after trial—hatred from his brothers, slavery, false accusation, and imprisonment—and yet he continually trusted God. And the Lord worked through him in every situation.

You very likely know the story of Joseph. If you don’t, though, here’s the story at warp speed:

·         Joseph was his father’s favorite son.

·         He was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers.

·         He was purchased by one of Pharaoh’s military leaders.

·         Joseph was accused of trying to sleep with his master’s wife.

·         He was thrown into prison and kept there for many years.

·         When the head baker and head wine taster for Pharaoh were thrown into prison with Joseph, they both had dreams which he interpreted correctly (or rather the Lord did it through him). Joseph, though, was forgotten until one day when Pharaoh had a dream and none of his wise men were able to interpret it.

·         The wine taster remembered Joseph.

·         Joseph was sent for, and he interpreted Pharaoh’s dream.

·         He explained that there were going to be seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine.

·         Pharaoh was so pleased, he placed the former prisoner in charge of the entire kingdom!

·         Joseph worked hard, storing up grain until the famine hit. When it did, he was ready and the people of Egypt were spared from starvation.

·         His brothers appeared looking for food because the famine spread beyond the borders of Egypt. They didn’t recognize him, and, after putting them through several tests, he finally revealed to them who he really was—their brother!

Whew! We just covered a lifetime in twelve bullet points. I told you it was gonna be warp speed!

There are endless lessons we could learn from the life of Joseph. Here are five of my favorites.

1. Give your best wherever you are!

Joseph worked hard when he was a slave, and he worked hard as Pharaoh’s second in command. He put everything he had into every job. He held back nothing. God blessed him, and he was given commanding positions of authority in every area of his life.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men (Col. 3:23).

2. Great men [and women] show humility.

Joseph did not take the credit for anything. Instead, he gave it to God. Joseph acknowledged to Pharaoh that interpreting the dream was not his own work, but God’s. Genesis tells us multiple times that “whatever [Joseph] did, the LORD made it succeed” (Gen. 39:23).

James 4:6 promises, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” We see this played out over and over in Joseph’s life.

3. Sometimes in life we need to wait.

After Joseph interpreted the head baker and wine taster’s dreams, they were released and promptly forgot about him. (To be fair, the head baker was hanged, so he didn’t have much opportunity to talk about Joseph.) Joseph stayed in prison for two more yearsafter that! That’s a long time to wait!

God often asks us to wait on something, and the wait feels like it takes FOR-EV-ER! But we have the choice to wait well and use the waiting time to grow closer to God and serve him.

Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! (Ps. 27:14).

4. Circumstances in our lives may not be what they appear.

Joseph’s circumstances seemed pretty horrible at the beginning of the story. But part of what made Joseph great was that he had the perspective to see that God uses each and every thing that happens to us for His glory and for our good! Joseph told his brothers in Genesis 50:20, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.”

5. Be bold rather than bitter.

We may not always feel like life is “fair.” We can either choose to be bitter or we can choose to continue to live bold lives for Christ. Joseph didn’t allow circumstances that could have made him extremely bitter—like being sold by his brothers and forgotten by the wine taster and baker—to affect him. He pursued God and life with a passion, not allowing his circumstances to drag him down.

We can either choose to be bitter or we can choose to continue to live bold lives for Christ.

There are countless men and women from the past who we can look up to. But it’s also important that we pray to be modern-day Josephs, men and women who will hold fast to the Lord daily and inspire others to do great things for Christ!

What have you found helpful during hard times in your life?

Looking at the list of lessons from Joseph’s life, how are you a modern-day Joseph?

 

Is He thinking of me right now?

I’ve noticed something about us girls. We want someone to be thinking of us. Often. Preferably, every minute of every hour of every day.

In my own life, this is especially true of my guy. I want to be his first thought when he wakes up in the morning, his last thought as he’s drifting off to sleep, and the focus of every thought in-between. Here are some clues you might want your guy to be thinking of you 24/7, too.

·         When he shows interest in something other than you, such as a hobby or idea, you feel mad or annoyed.

·         When he seems to be thinking of someone other than you, you feel jealous or jilted.

·         You are willing to do almost anything to turn his thoughts toward you, even counterproductive things like picking a fight.

·         You frequently ask him, “What are you thinking?” and feel disappointed if his answer is anything other than, “I was thinking about you.”

·         If he looks at his phone or watches TV, you get frustrated. You’d rather him give you his undivided attention at all times.

While the desire to be loved and treasured is God-given, the craving to be the absolute focus of someone’s thoughts at all times isn’t.

When we look at these inner thoughts and desires in black and white, they seem a little silly don’t they? While the desire to be loved and treasured is God-given, the craving to be the absolute focus of someone’s thoughts at all times isn’t.

Pay attention to the things God asks us to think about.

1.      Think about the Spirit (Rom. 8:5–6).

2.      Think about things that are above, not about things that are of earth (Col. 3:2).

3.      Think about what you say before you say it (Prov. 15:28).

4.      Think about the teachings of Scripture (2 Tim. 2:7).

5.      Think about how to protect your heart (Prov. 4:23).

6.      Think about God’s law (Ps. 119:15).

7.      Think about what God is like (Ps. 119:15).

8.      Think about how short life is (Ps. 90:12).

9.      Think about God’s thoughts (Ps. 139:17).

10.  Think about the truth you’ve heard (Heb. 2:1).

11.  Philippians 4:8 tells us to think about

o    whatever is true.

o    whatever is honorable.

o    whatever is just.

o    whatever is pure.

o    whatever is lovely.

o    whatever is commendable.

o    anything excellent.

o    anything worth of praise.

Did you notice that your crush or boyfriend or husband isn’t anywhere on this list? That means that God never asks your guy to think about you 24/7 either. If that feels harsh, remember, romance is God’s idea. It’s okay to think about the guy God has given you and to hope he thinks of you, too. But God also asks us to lift our eyes and think thoughts beyond, Is he thinking of me right this very moment?

Thank You for Not Thinking of Me

If you’ve been guilty of expecting your guy (or your parents or your friends) to think about you non-stop, would you take these three steps in a new direction?

1. Repent.

Tell God you are sorry for expecting others to think about you more than they think about Him. Ask Him to help you live out this verse and earnestly desire to see the people you love do the same.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27, emphasis added).

2. Write lots of permission slips.

Give the people in your world the freedom to think about other things often without guilt, shame, or confrontation. When you notice that they are thinking about the things the Bible calls us to think about, point it out and be encouraging. Ask the Lord to grow genuine gratitude in your heart for the people in your world who have done this:

Take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

3. Know who is thinking of you.

Check out this gold nugget of truth:

You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told (Ps. 40:5).

God thinks of us, often. Today, let’s choose to proclaim that beautiful truth and release the people we love from the expectation to think about us 24/7.

Here are six resolutions for a better single life this year.

1. Don’t complain.

Complaining singles turn into complaining marrieds, which turn into complaining parents. Nip that in the bud, and learn to control your thoughts and words now. Focus on taking your thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5) and choose not to complain about your singleness. (Or anything else that makes you unhappy.)

Do all things without grumbling or disputing (Phil. 2:14).

2. Speak words of gratitude.

Thankfulness and gratitude are attractive qualities that look good on any girl.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thess. 5:18).

This one is tough for me. I tend to speak a lot of words and somehow manage to leave gratitude out of the equation. I would love to become a more grateful single, and I’m sure you would, too. Thankfulness and gratitude are attractive qualities that look good on any girl. Make it a habit to speak words of gratitude each and every day.

3. Think outside of yourself.

From one single girl to another, we need to think outside of ourselves. We can stop being so self-focused by focusing on the needs of others. God has given us this season of flexibility to concentrate on serving Him in ways that married women can’t. Let’s take advantage of our single status this year and choose to focus on the needs of those around us.

4. Get the bigger picture.

Deep inside, most of us have a longing to find true love and officially graduate from single status to married life. While that desire for marriage is good, it can easily become a major distraction and obsession if we aren’t careful. Instead of focusing so much on “finding the one” and changing the title from Miss to Mrs., spend some time remembering your mission to make Christ known and live with eternity in mind.

I highly recommend listening to this sermon by Francis Chan. He gets the bigger picture and will help you grasp it, too. Your single life will transform into an amazing and exciting season if you’re willing to live with the eternal picture in mind.

5. Surround yourself with the young and old.

I’m blessed to come from a big family who loves being together. I’m constantly around young kids and much older adults. Spending time around people of all ages is a great benefit and blessing to the single, as well as a chance to grow your character.

·         If you have family near you, try your best to spend time with them.

·         If not, make an effort to get involved with people outside your bubble of friends.

·         Get to know the older ladies in your church.

·         Volunteer in the nursery.

·         Spend time with all ages, not just other singles.

6. Commit to growth.

There is no better time to grow spiritually than right now. Make 2016 a year of learning and growing.

·         Read challenging Christian books.

·         Listen to free sermons online.

·         Work through a Bible study.

There is no better time to grow spiritually than right now.

Set big goals in the area of spiritual growth, and go for it. You will be amazed by how much incredible wisdom and truth there is once you start digging for it.

Which one of the six areas would you like to commit to improving? Tell me about it.

Letting Your Family Off the Hook of Perfection

 ERIN DAVIS  8 COMMENTS  PRINT

Your sister won’t stop borrowing your clothes without asking.
You’re sure your brother was adopted from a den of bears because of his habit of leaving food and garbage everywhere.
Your dad is too strict.
Your mom is too busy.

I could go on and on, and I’m sure you can, too.

All of us desperately need Jesus’ help to say “no” to ungodliness and “yes” to treating others like Jesus would

Sure, we love our families, but they also get on our nerves sometimes. Whether a result of minor irritations or deep wounds, it can be really tough to see the best in the people who live under your roof. But I’m going to propose that you let the members of your family off the hook of perfection and extend a heaping pile of grace instead. Here are five reasons why.

1. Perfection isn’t an option.

In the history of humanity, there has only ever been one perfect human, and He doesn’t live at your house. Jesus was the only sinless man who ever lived (1 Peter 2:22). The rest of us have to chronically struggle with our sin nature, that part of us that gravitates toward selfishness, anger, and bitterness.

That means:

·         Your dad cannot be the perfect dad.

·         Your mom cannot be the perfect mom.

·         Your sister cannot be the perfect sister.

·         Your brother cannot be the perfect brother.

All of us desperately need Jesus’ help to say “no” to ungodliness and “yes” to treating others like Jesus would (Titus 2:11–12). Since Jesus responds to our sin with grace, shouldn’t we respond to others’ sin with grace, too?

2. Shrapnel is guaranteed.

Sin hurts the sinner and often, those the sinner loves. Since we live in close proximity to our family and interact with them so often, they are sure to get hit with the inevitable shrapnel our sin causes. Likewise, we will be wounded by the effect of their sin.

The strain that sin causes in our families reminds us of our desperate need for the gospel.

When we see the gory impact of sin firsthand, it is tempting to hate the sinner. Instead let’s ask Jesus for help to hate the sin. The strain that sin causes in our families reminds us of our desperate need for the gospel. Left on our own, we just go around wounding each other all the time. But Jesus has made a way for us to be transformed into a “new creation” (2 Cor. 5:17). Through the power of His Spirit, He changes us and our families to be more and more like Him (1 Cor. 11:1).

3. “Get along” is God’s idea.

The first Bible verse I taught my young sons to memorize is this:

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all (Rom. 12:18).

Focus in on that middle section. The one between the commas . . .

“So far as it depends on you.”

That means stop making lists of everything your family members are doing to rock the boat. Stop pointing fingers in everyone else’s direction. Do everything in your power to get along.

4. Remember what love is.

At the end of the day, the people who get under your skin the most are also the people you’d likely jump in front of a bus to protect. They’re your tribe, your people. You may not always like them, but you do love them. So picture their faces as you take in this refresher about what love is and isn’t.

Love is:

·         patient

·         kind

·         rejoicing

·         enduring

·         championing

·         hopeful

Love is not:

·         envious

·         boastful

·         arrogant

·         rude

·         selfish

·         irritable

·         resentful (Taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4–7.)

There aren’t any prerequisites for this kind of love. We don’t treat people this way only if they give us what we want when we want it, stay out of our personal space, or remember to put their dishes in the sink. If you truly love your family, memorize and live this list.

5. Forgiveness unlocks your cell.

My favorite quote on forgiveness is, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I’ve also heard it said this way, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Holding on to bitterness, anger, and resentment toward your family hurts you most of all.

Holding on to bitterness, anger, and resentment toward your family hurts you most of all. It poisons our heart and locks us in a cage of our own making. Jesus was looking out for us when He said this:

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matt. 18:21–22).

Being in a family provides plenty of opportunities to seek and extend forgiveness. Take them! (For more on the importance of forgiveness, check out this great ROH radio broadcast.)

Let Them Down Gently

Have you been hanging your parents or siblings on an invisible hook of perfection? Do you keep a running list of all the ways they’ve failed you in your head? If so, gently lower them off the hook, wad the list up, and throw it away.

You may not have the perfect family. None of us do. But you do have a chance to frequently ask for and extend forgiveness, to love sacrificially like Christ has loved you, and to extend heaping piles of grace to the faces around your breakfast table. Will you take it?

PS: For more on loving difficult family members, be sure to hop back on the blog tomorrow. We will share our most pinable post ever, “How to Pray When Someone You Love Is Stuck in Sin.”

When Mary heard that nothing was impossible with God, she said one of the bravest sentences in the whole Bible.

And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).

Here’s the Erin Davis paraphrase:

I belong to God. I will do whatever He asks me to.

Why were those words so brave? Think for a minute about what Gabriel was really calling Mary to.

There is no calling He will ever give you that you cannot carry out.

Though young and unmarried, Mary was going to be a momma. Not just any momma, but the momma of the Savior of the whole world. There is no parenting manual for that. The angel neglected to stick around to tell Mary’s parents the news and wouldn’t tell her beloved, Joseph, until after Mary had to tell him
herself. Mary would face rumors swirling around her little town. (Immaculate conception? Yeah, right!) She would have to deal with embarrassment and public humiliation at the same time the pregnancy hormones hit. Then she would have to raise Jesus. (If you think that was always an easy task, check out Luke 2:41–52). Then Mary would watch as her son was put on trial, falsely accused, publicly beaten, and hung on a cross. The Bible says that Mary stood nearby as He died there (John 19:25).

Sometimes the Lord’s favor feels like watching your boy die an unjust and agonizing death.

Mary didn’t know what was down the road, of course. But she didn’t press Gabriel for the details.

She simply said, “I belong to God. I will do what He says.”

How About You?

When God calls you to big things (and little things!), do you want assurance that everything will be okay (and feel okay) before you step out in faith? If you feel ill-equipped or insecure, do you disobey or delay?

Since the Christmas story helps us see that nothing is impossible with God, the next time God asks you to obey, let me encourage you to simply repeat Mary’s very brave words:

“Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”