Thankful 8-31-22

 Lord Thank you for a slow day - Thank you for the opp to trust you. 

Thank you for helping me with the crab rangoons last night

thank you for listening to my prayers this morning

Thank you for helping me to train and get up to run for the 5k

Thank you for hot water in the shower

Thank you for music that really draws my perspective to you

Thank you for your discipline that brings a harvest of righteousness and peace

Thank you that you love me

Thank you for adopting me

Thank you that I am your daughter

thank you that you want to help me

thank you for loving me

8/24/22 & 8/25/22 - Discipline

 

I'm being disciplined for an accusation I made against a coworker in March of this year and paying the consequences of it in relationship. I am being disciplined for my good to see that control and trying to force someone to believe in God is fruitless and counterproductive. I need to see that God not only doesn't need me, I make things worse. The only real way to help others is to pray for them and love them. God does the work...not me. I needed to actually see this was true. My flesh finds it super painful to let go. The rejection hurts so deeply. Lord thank you for using this so I can go to you for comfort. You are the one who understands my pain and can help me make sense of it. I may not know all the reasons why but I can trust that you will work it for good even though I sinned! Lord I feel humiliated that my sin was brought up in front of James L - the accusations are absurb and I'm wrong and I hurt people by accusing them and I pay consequences. Lord please keep me from accusing people. Deliver me from accusation and control. This is selfish ambition - which is unspiritual and demonic. Lord please have mercy on me and help me to receive your mercy for my horrible actions that hurt my Christian witness, my pride and my heart... and most importantly YOU. I have sinned before you in this Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. I am guilty and I can't pay for it. Lord will you please forgive me for accusing Tricia and thinking I was right? Will you forgive me for my discouragement and wallowing in self pity and believing I was the victim? I ask for your mercy to walk this out rightly. Please have mercy on her Lord. I forgive her for bringing it up so many months later. I forgive her for ignoring, snubbing and rejecting me. Lord I bless her. Bless her Jesus. Please help her to see her need for your mercy and your blood to forgive her for her sins before you. Lord I give you my anger and betrayal and pain - Lord, I have done worse to you. I have been forgiven SO much. I forgive her. Please help me to be merciful and loving and forgiving like you. 

"I will use it for good"

"I"m going to turn it all around, just wait and see"

"I used what the enemy meant for evil for GOOD"

(lego) Building blocks for miracles (Corrie ten Boom)

"What do you want me to judge?"

"What you do to me is worse than what she is doing to you"

"I want to bless you Kristina"

Hebrews 12:1-3 For the Joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning it's shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners so that you will not grow weary and lose heart

"This is a worthy cause"

"Don't give up on her. I want her for my own. I can see through the masquerade. I know I am after her heart. Trust Me."

"Show her my mercy"

"Don't try to prove yourself. Leave your case in my hands. I will defend you."

"I know what I'm doing"

"Holy - I am making you holy through this"

"I know what I'm doing in you Kristina."
"It's not about you"

"Let go of wanting a certain outcome and just love me by trusting me in this. Pray for her"

"My daughter, I created you - I will not reject you - I am perfecting you. I am using this as discipline for your good. You can receive my correction as LOVE and thank me for it. It's not the end. Keep looking to me for your life."

Lord thank you for your discipline and correction. I needed it, Thank you for sharing with me SO clearly that it is best and WISE to ask you and pray and not to always share. Thank you that you allowed this so I would not rely on myself but on you. Please help me today in my thoughts and the pain and rejection to choose your path, the high road of love. Fill my heart with your LOVE. Your Spirit!

2 Cor 1:9

But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raiseth the dead,

In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.

It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation—I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part.

In fact, we still feel as if we’re under a death sentence. But we suffered so that we would stop trusting ourselves and learn to trust God, who brings the dead back to life.

2 Cor 4:10

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

 Control is like devil's snare - the more you move and panic the more it wraps around you. You need to relax and let go - it hates SONLIGHT.

it only binds them more when they strain against it. Control is like this, the more we seek control, the more it exacerbates our anxiety rather than calms it. We are in essense trying to treat the sickness with it's cause.

https://youtu.be/k44a7wsSyig

8-17-22

 August 17

Missed opportunities!

If only . . .

It is good to regret missed opportunities, but quite wrong to be miserable about them. You cannot look back across your past life without seeing things to regret. That is as it should be. But we have to draw a subtle distinction between a legitimate regret and a wrong condition of heart. Give God your “if only’s.”

Think of those laborers in the vineyard in the parable which Jesus told in Matthew 20:1-16. They all received the same wages, although some had worked the whole day and some had worked for only an hour. Compare that to a person’s life. Some people enter the Kingdom right at the end of their lives.

They may regret all those years when they

were not serving Christ. But the important thing

is that they are in the Kingdom. The thing that mat-

ters first of all, if you are a Christian, is not what

you once were but what you are now.

I will restore to you the years which the swarming locust has eaten.

Joel 2:25

Lord Jesus, I give my "if only's" to You. Make

me a faithful laborer here and now.

8-16-22

 

Jesus' name has power over evil spirits! Jesus help me to resist the lies of the enemy today and give me your power and authority to stand in truth against the lies!

Word 8-3-22

Hebrews 4:14-16

Jesus the Great High Priest

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,[a] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Praise to the God of All Comfort

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

8-4-22

 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

August 4

Sometimes the devil speaks of our sins and makes us despair. He takes away our courage. He tells us, “You will be that way all of your life. There is no hope for you!” The devil is a liar! We are what we are in Jesus Christ.

At the Cross, at the Cross,

where I first saw the light,

And the burden of my heart rolled away,

it was there by faith I received my sight . . .

Ralph E. Hudson

 

I thank my God. . . for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 1:4 KJV

 

Thank You for Your gift of grace and peace, Lord. When we know we are forgiven we have victory and joy, despite what the devil says.

8/4/22

Lord, 

Thank you Lord I believe you that those who hope in you will not be put to shame.

NDE

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Jesus comforted me as to what it meant for me to go through what I had gone through all of my life. At the time this communication was happening, I was full of knowledge. However, I didn't come back with any of it. The only thing that I am aware of that He allowed me to remember was the 'peace,' and the feeling that it was all okay, and that I had never been alone - not for one second - that He had always been with me, and knew EVERYTHING that had happened to me. He explained every detail to me and gave me such peace.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Oh yes. I no longer judge anyone. I am very forgiving. I don't take anything personal. I purposely smile at someone if I think it will make their day better. I am way more loving to my family and people in general.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Never. This was not caused by any drug, medications, nothing. This was the real deal. He is there. Heaven is real. I am actually sad and scared for those that don't believe. This is real. This is more real than life here on earth as we know it. If there is something that frustrates me, its scientists and doctors that try to explain away - I've seen them trying to do that - it really upsets me. I guarantee if a NDE happened to one of those people, they would do a 180-degree flip in a second flat. They would believe without a shadow of a doubt.

8/2/22

 Lord I'm really tired, will you help me to be real with you and will you please give me energy to work as unto you these last couple hours?

Lord I need your help today to be focused and to work as unto you. Will you please help me to trust you today? Lord will you help me with the sharefile login? And my throat and my back? I want to go eat snacks. Will you please help me focus?

Lord I have been thinking about IHOP and the prayers and how it was so refreshing to hear people..

Grateful

Thank you for the difficulty of having too much kombucha and things not going my way

Thank you for the opp to rely on you

Than kyou for Reini and Sondra still wanting some

Thank you for this opp for mercy

Thank you for helping me find the bank card this morning

Thank you for the opp to have patience til he calls me back

Thank you that Wade got to talk to Florence and that Dorcas was adopted and moved to another city

THank you for that good talk with Joy about failure and receiving critique

Lord I surrender the kombucha to you - I ask that you would work it out what I should do with it (keep it, throw it away, give it away) and that you would help me with this process. I feel frustrated and like I wasted time and energy and resources - Lord help me to do this for you and for others. I'm sorry for doing it for myself and for others to like me. Please help me to trust you in this refining process. Thankyou for showing me my heart and my motives. Please purify me and help me to trust you. I'm sorry for wanting to be cool and trendy and for people to like me. Will you forgive me and cleanse my heart? I ask that this would be a service for your glory and that you would take over. Please help me to do this for you. I'm anxious about getting the bottles back in time and I'm tired even thinking about it. Will you help me to let go of this and to trust you and please change my heart. Lord please show me if anyone else would like the kombucha. I'm sorry for getting so angry about this kombucha - will you forgive me and help me to see it the way you do? Will you help me to have faith hope and love - the things that will last? Lord show me if I'm supposed to be gracious with Reini and Sondra or if I'm to throw out the old. I need your wisdom and help with this. Please will you help me?

"what does failing at this say about you as a person?"

I guess that it's not my thing. But I hate wasting time and resources. Do you want me to stop doing it?

"why are you doing it?"

Well I think I was doing it to do something cool and be a service but it's taking a lot of time and resources and I keep failing at it. 

"I want to purify your heart in this and give you the why behind serving. It's not for the people - it's for me. I want you to know that I see your heart in wanting to serve and that's not a failure to me. I want to give you life in serving not death. You can be sure that whether people appreciate something or not - the value is not placed in the service but the provider. I provide what you need to serve and when you work for and with me - NOTHING, I say NOTHING is wasted. You are used to being on your own time table but I want to give you mine. Mine is way better for you. I have good in mind for you. I want nothing but your good. Trust me."

Okay Lord, please yes - purify my heart and my reasons why I serve - not to please people but to please you. Please help me to please your heart and to love you by serving your people. I need your help. I give you the kombucha service - please Lord, will you help me?

I receive this affliction and service and difficulty - Help me to be faithful to serve you Lord. I surrender. Show me if you want me to wait with the bottles or if I made the right choice with that. I'm sorry for my motives in feeling rejected to find someone else who wanted it - will you forgive me and cleanse my heart?

"Yes daughter, I want to make this a clean service as unto me" " I KNOW what I am doing" 

Okay Lord I trust you. Please lead me by your Spirit. I recieve it. I trust you.

Lord I want to control the situ - I feel like I can't have peace unless I work things out and I want to text Reini Shauna Karmel and Beth and I want to see if the Jory called. I feel overwhelmed by this desire. I put that to death - I choose to trust you instead with the kombucha and the CC - will you help me to let it go? I want to be filled with your spirit - not frustration. I surrender Lord - take it. 

Lord I gave you the worries earlier - now I am giving you the Office supply ordering - please help me to let go. I give it to you Lord. Please help me to let go. 

I also surrender food to you - cantelope and soup and strawberry applesauce. THANK YOU. Thank you for the cantelope being on sale and for something light. 

Thank you for Shelly being so go with the flow with this. I need you. WIll you help me with the light bulb and my stomach and the Amazon order and the office supplies being so disorganized? I feel so anxious. I surrender it to you. Will you please help me to trust you and be filled with your spirit? I confess anxiety to you now- I'm sorry for not trusting you. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for your love. Will you help me to walk in self control?

Lord I ask for your help! Please help me to fight the lies. I repent for believing that I am in this alone. That is not true! You said "You are not doing this alone" 

Space is not rejection. Lord please deliver me and help me. I choose to believe the truth that you love me and my sisters love me. I give you my heart. Lord I belong to this family and you have given them to me. Please help me not to waste this time of discipline but to earnestly seek you and seek to repent and turn from my sin - not just to feel sorry for myself. I need your help! Please deliver me Lord.