8/2/22

 Lord I'm really tired, will you help me to be real with you and will you please give me energy to work as unto you these last couple hours?

Lord I need your help today to be focused and to work as unto you. Will you please help me to trust you today? Lord will you help me with the sharefile login? And my throat and my back? I want to go eat snacks. Will you please help me focus?

Lord I have been thinking about IHOP and the prayers and how it was so refreshing to hear people..

Grateful

Thank you for the difficulty of having too much kombucha and things not going my way

Thank you for the opp to rely on you

Than kyou for Reini and Sondra still wanting some

Thank you for this opp for mercy

Thank you for helping me find the bank card this morning

Thank you for the opp to have patience til he calls me back

Thank you that Wade got to talk to Florence and that Dorcas was adopted and moved to another city

THank you for that good talk with Joy about failure and receiving critique

Lord I surrender the kombucha to you - I ask that you would work it out what I should do with it (keep it, throw it away, give it away) and that you would help me with this process. I feel frustrated and like I wasted time and energy and resources - Lord help me to do this for you and for others. I'm sorry for doing it for myself and for others to like me. Please help me to trust you in this refining process. Thankyou for showing me my heart and my motives. Please purify me and help me to trust you. I'm sorry for wanting to be cool and trendy and for people to like me. Will you forgive me and cleanse my heart? I ask that this would be a service for your glory and that you would take over. Please help me to do this for you. I'm anxious about getting the bottles back in time and I'm tired even thinking about it. Will you help me to let go of this and to trust you and please change my heart. Lord please show me if anyone else would like the kombucha. I'm sorry for getting so angry about this kombucha - will you forgive me and help me to see it the way you do? Will you help me to have faith hope and love - the things that will last? Lord show me if I'm supposed to be gracious with Reini and Sondra or if I'm to throw out the old. I need your wisdom and help with this. Please will you help me?

"what does failing at this say about you as a person?"

I guess that it's not my thing. But I hate wasting time and resources. Do you want me to stop doing it?

"why are you doing it?"

Well I think I was doing it to do something cool and be a service but it's taking a lot of time and resources and I keep failing at it. 

"I want to purify your heart in this and give you the why behind serving. It's not for the people - it's for me. I want you to know that I see your heart in wanting to serve and that's not a failure to me. I want to give you life in serving not death. You can be sure that whether people appreciate something or not - the value is not placed in the service but the provider. I provide what you need to serve and when you work for and with me - NOTHING, I say NOTHING is wasted. You are used to being on your own time table but I want to give you mine. Mine is way better for you. I have good in mind for you. I want nothing but your good. Trust me."

Okay Lord, please yes - purify my heart and my reasons why I serve - not to please people but to please you. Please help me to please your heart and to love you by serving your people. I need your help. I give you the kombucha service - please Lord, will you help me?

I receive this affliction and service and difficulty - Help me to be faithful to serve you Lord. I surrender. Show me if you want me to wait with the bottles or if I made the right choice with that. I'm sorry for my motives in feeling rejected to find someone else who wanted it - will you forgive me and cleanse my heart?

"Yes daughter, I want to make this a clean service as unto me" " I KNOW what I am doing" 

Okay Lord I trust you. Please lead me by your Spirit. I recieve it. I trust you.

Lord I want to control the situ - I feel like I can't have peace unless I work things out and I want to text Reini Shauna Karmel and Beth and I want to see if the Jory called. I feel overwhelmed by this desire. I put that to death - I choose to trust you instead with the kombucha and the CC - will you help me to let it go? I want to be filled with your spirit - not frustration. I surrender Lord - take it. 

Lord I gave you the worries earlier - now I am giving you the Office supply ordering - please help me to let go. I give it to you Lord. Please help me to let go. 

I also surrender food to you - cantelope and soup and strawberry applesauce. THANK YOU. Thank you for the cantelope being on sale and for something light. 

Thank you for Shelly being so go with the flow with this. I need you. WIll you help me with the light bulb and my stomach and the Amazon order and the office supplies being so disorganized? I feel so anxious. I surrender it to you. Will you please help me to trust you and be filled with your spirit? I confess anxiety to you now- I'm sorry for not trusting you. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for your love. Will you help me to walk in self control?

Lord I ask for your help! Please help me to fight the lies. I repent for believing that I am in this alone. That is not true! You said "You are not doing this alone" 

Space is not rejection. Lord please deliver me and help me. I choose to believe the truth that you love me and my sisters love me. I give you my heart. Lord I belong to this family and you have given them to me. Please help me not to waste this time of discipline but to earnestly seek you and seek to repent and turn from my sin - not just to feel sorry for myself. I need your help! Please deliver me Lord.