I'm being disciplined for an accusation I made against a coworker in March of this year and paying the consequences of it in relationship. I am being disciplined for my good to see that control and trying to force someone to believe in God is fruitless and counterproductive. I need to see that God not only doesn't need me, I make things worse. The only real way to help others is to pray for them and love them. God does the work...not me. I needed to actually see this was true. My flesh finds it super painful to let go. The rejection hurts so deeply. Lord thank you for using this so I can go to you for comfort. You are the one who understands my pain and can help me make sense of it. I may not know all the reasons why but I can trust that you will work it for good even though I sinned! Lord I feel humiliated that my sin was brought up in front of James L - the accusations are absurb and I'm wrong and I hurt people by accusing them and I pay consequences. Lord please keep me from accusing people. Deliver me from accusation and control. This is selfish ambition - which is unspiritual and demonic. Lord please have mercy on me and help me to receive your mercy for my horrible actions that hurt my Christian witness, my pride and my heart... and most importantly YOU. I have sinned before you in this Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. I am guilty and I can't pay for it. Lord will you please forgive me for accusing Tricia and thinking I was right? Will you forgive me for my discouragement and wallowing in self pity and believing I was the victim? I ask for your mercy to walk this out rightly. Please have mercy on her Lord. I forgive her for bringing it up so many months later. I forgive her for ignoring, snubbing and rejecting me. Lord I bless her. Bless her Jesus. Please help her to see her need for your mercy and your blood to forgive her for her sins before you. Lord I give you my anger and betrayal and pain - Lord, I have done worse to you. I have been forgiven SO much. I forgive her. Please help me to be merciful and loving and forgiving like you.
"I will use it for good"
"I"m going to turn it all around, just wait and see"
"I used what the enemy meant for evil for GOOD"
(lego) Building blocks for miracles (Corrie ten Boom)
"What do you want me to judge?"
"What you do to me is worse than what she is doing to you"
"I want to bless you Kristina"
Hebrews 12:1-3 For the Joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning it's shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners so that you will not grow weary and lose heart
"This is a worthy cause"
"Don't give up on her. I want her for my own. I can see through the masquerade. I know I am after her heart. Trust Me."
"Show her my mercy"
"Don't try to prove yourself. Leave your case in my hands. I will defend you."
"I know what I'm doing"
"Holy - I am making you holy through this"
"I know what I'm doing in you Kristina."
"It's not about you"
"Let go of wanting a certain outcome and just love me by trusting me in this. Pray for her"
"My daughter, I created you - I will not reject you - I am perfecting you. I am using this as discipline for your good. You can receive my correction as LOVE and thank me for it. It's not the end. Keep looking to me for your life."
Lord thank you for your discipline and correction. I needed it, Thank you for sharing with me SO clearly that it is best and WISE to ask you and pray and not to always share. Thank you that you allowed this so I would not rely on myself but on you. Please help me today in my thoughts and the pain and rejection to choose your path, the high road of love. Fill my heart with your LOVE. Your Spirit!
2 Cor 1:9
But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raiseth the dead,
In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.
It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation—I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part.
In fact, we still feel as if we’re under a death sentence. But we suffered so that we would stop trusting ourselves and learn to trust God, who brings the dead back to life.
2 Cor 4:10
We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
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