Tude

Lord, I have a bad attitude. I'm not sure why, but I need your help to get out of it.

I'm pissed off at getting passed over for leadership positions. Like coordinator or prayer coordinator.

It makes me feel like I am not capable.

I'm pissed off about the house card and there only being one.

I'm mad at Becca complaining and Jen complaining yesterday and Joe complaining. I felt like  sea of negativity. Help me to be compassionate and to listen and to know how to address things.

I'm angry at Becca's comments about the cookies, and the "payment" comment about the cookies.

I'm tired and I want to want to visit Pola and Palmer tonight.

Lord I feel not appreciated.

But that's a lie. I am appreciated for making dinners. You have me where you want me right now. You have given me what you want to give me. You want my heart not just my outward action and service. Service is out of the overflow of my heart. You are helping me.

My worth is not in what leadership positions or positions I have. It's in my heart, which you have deemed valuable. You died for this heart. My security is in you Alone, not in a job or a task. Sorry for believing lies. Sorry for comparing myself to these other women. Help me to be a support and to pray for them and have mercy and patience with them as they transition. Please bless my relationship with Jess.  I ask that you do a miracle in my heart just like you have done with the finances. Lord please help. I need your grace and your mercy.

I believe you are going to help me with work. THank you.
I believe you are going to help me with Jess. Thank you .

I believe you will overcome this comparision and worth in what I do rather than who you are. Thank you.
You are enough for me.

Help me to trust you. I surrender all my thoughts to you. Help me to dwell on your return today!

Love Kristina

Romans 12:1-2 NLT

1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. 

Learning to Prioritize

But we can’t do it all. It’s just not possible.

So I’m learning to prioritize, and asking for grace, and trying to not wish away these crazy days, but instead, to relish in them.

The amazing thing I’m learning as I experience my own inability to do it all though, is God’s amazing ability to indeed do it all. And more.

To meet every need. Every dream. And exceed them all.

In my own humanity, I’m seeing more of His deity. His power. It’s by the power of His grace alone, after all, that I’m able to find joy in the crazy.

When I am weak, He is strong.

And for that, I don’t mind so much that I can’t meet every need.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
~Ephesians 3:20-21

Learning How to Die

I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
She says, "I love you
I'm gonna miss hearing your songs"

And I said, "Please,
Don't talk about the end
Don't talk about how every living thing goes away"
She said, "Friend,
All along I thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die"

Hey everyone
I got nowhere to go
The grave is lazy
He takes our body slow

And I said, "Please,
Don't talk about the end
Don't talk about how every living thing goes away"
She said, "Friend,
All along I thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to laugh not how to cry
But really I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die"
Die...Die...
I've been learning how to die


Well, it depends on what you mean by depressing. They are definitely sobering, that's for sure. 'Fall' is about the act of dying and 'Winter' would be the act of death or hibernation, however you want to put it. I think "Learning How to Die" is a good song. It talks about all of this. 

I used to think that life was kind of accumulating, that you were continually learning more, growing more, understanding more. Then I had a few events in my life that made me realize that life is actually about surrender and losing, in fact maybe giving yourself away. So maybe 'Winter' is the most honest season. So I don't think it's a depressing thought 

but it certainly is a sobering thought to think that this life that we've been given actually has a purpose of surrender rather than conquest."

"Learning How to Die" - Song by Jon Foreman

Today I had lunch with Dad - we got subway and then went to the park - found out that Dad and I like alot of the same things on our sandwich...shredded lettuce, tomato, pickles...then he got onions and sweet onion dressing and I got light mayo and chipotle. We went to the little park. I realized that Dad and I both like discussing plans and getting things finalized and talking business in that and then once that's out of the way we relax. We talked about plans for Christmas car rides and Gma's bday and planes/hotel and Israel, cooking and about Joe busken and Paula Biren.  I noticed dad gets frustrated at drivers on the road. Hmm..we are alot alike :) haha

Excited to see Anne with Sam and pray and visit Gma Dell beforehand. That should be wonderful.

I'm thankful that Queenie can take me to go pickup my car today at SGA and that they lowered the price to within my range for my window getting fixed.

Lord please bless the time with Anne and with Becca tonight. Please be my words and help me to listen and not get defensive...Lord be my strength and help me to love her like you do. I need your humility.

I need your help to do my kitchen chore, do the SR and getting gas..and getting dry shampoo. Lord I give over my planning to you. Please help me. Thank you for yesterday and how you helped me :)

Lord help me to love Allie and Ian like you do on our car rides. Please give me your perspective and help me to care for them like you do.

Lord I want to love you Please take my anxiety. Help me to do these pending orders with joy and gladness in my heart.

Love

When There's Love! - Keith Green

Take some time, make a friend of a stranger
Touch a hand, just reach out, there's no danger

When there's love, mountains move
The blind can see and things improve
Don't be afraid to take the lead
And be the first to plant a seed
And then just watch it grow, don't you know that now

Take some time, tell someone that you love 'em
Make them feel there's a rainbow above 'em

When there's love, storms will cease
And those in chains will be released
There's not a thing that love can't do
But it's got to start with me and you
And then just watch it grow, don't you know, know, know, know

When there's love, you can't lose
You'll always know which road to choose
There's not one thing that love can't do
But it's got to start with me and you
And then just watch it grow, don't you know, know, know, know, know

Take some time, make a friend of a stranger
When there's love touch a hand, just reach out, there's no danger
When there's love, take the time, make a friend of a stranger
When there's love, touch a hand, just reach out, there's no danger

When there's love, take the time, make a friend of a stranger
When there's love, touch a hand, just reach out, there's no danger

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Priorities

How can I love you and keep my relationship with you alive when my life is so busy?

Priorities.

What are your priorities?

Loving your brothers and sisters.

Jesus' priorities are different that mine.

I am very task oriented and can totally miss the point of love when trying to accomplish a task.

Loving people is not the same as pleasing people.

Loving people is not just making them happy.

It is preferring them and doing what is best for them, even if it's hard.

What is love? Let's look at the Bible.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 1 Jn 3:16

Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. 
It does not envy
Love does not demand its own way
It does not dishonor others
Love is not self-seeking
Love is not easily angered,It is not irritable
Love keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not rejoice about injustice or evil 
but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, 
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes.
endures through every circumstance, always perseveres



1 Cor 13

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

¹³ Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Praying about Candace

If Candace is to be invited to live with us...Why? Lord what is your purpose? Do you want this to happen?

WHY?

"ACT"

"you say you believe, then act on it" -I then saw a truck with "ACT" written on the side of it

specifically saying that I want God to move in and with River City but not being willing to put myself out there by bringing her in

listening to the song - really singing it like I mean it..

"Broken Bread"

May I be broken bread, may I be poured out wine
May I incarnate, Your kindness Lord

Spend my life Jesus, anyway You please
Whether on great things, or what seems small

Your will done your way
Your will done your way
Your will done your way

I will not fight You
Take me past the line that my heart draws
I will not fight You
Take me beyond the laziness of my thoughts
I will not fight
Lead me further than I've gone before
I will not fight You
I'm abandoned to Your call

Do not let there be, any part of me
That’s untouchable, unreachable

Let my delight be, living out Your dreams
Washing dirty feet, and kissing yours

God let Your dreams come true, dream through us
God let Your dreams come true through us

your will done your way

He told me

"I will protect you, trust me to protect you rather than trusting yourself "

Then...Saw a small tree plant inside a electrical power box, shielded from the elements

Hiding inside Christ is like hiding in a power box. he is my protection. It is false security to try to trust myself for protection.

verse of the day today...

Psalm 18:2

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
    my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
    and my place of safety.

He replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice." Luke 8:21

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus discusses the hospitable behavior of those who will inherit the kingdom: “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me” (Matthew 25:34-36). In these days we often don’t think much about entertaining strangers, but hospitality is still an important part of Christian ministry (Romans 12:13; 1 Peter 4:9). By serving others we serve Christ (Matthew 25:40) and we promote the spread of God’s truth (3 John 5-8).
I also listened to this song by Keith Green - Click here

Matt 25:34-40

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[f] you were doing it to me!’

Romans 12:13

13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

We are lacking in the "being ready" part, we need to do our part to be ready for those who are struggling, especially with getting things that are temptations out

HOW to get ready practically...in order to love her and boundaries are good to keep away temptation as I am very aware of with my own addictions

need to get ready, personally and collectively as a house - 

laptop - bring to work to keep there rather keeping it at home

camera, keys, wallet, checks, car keys - put in lock box

keep key to lock box on me

need to get safe ready and bolted to the floor

can't keep purses out anymore

She can't be left in the house by herself

1 Peter 4:9

9 Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay.

Lord please change my heart!

Just read this article...

PROVOCATIVE BIBLE VERSES: LETTING STRANGERS LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE

One of the most common practices in the early church was that of hospitality. It was radical hospitality. It started with Jesus never having a house of his own and most often staying in homes of people who demonstrated radical hospitality. It continued when he sent out the first disciples, telling them to preach the Good News and to stay in the homes of people who would offer them a bed. It culminated in the Letter to the Hebrews in which the author urges radical hospitality for a radical reason.

Be sure to welcome strangers into your home. By doing this, some people have welcomed angels as guests, without even knowing it. Hebrews 13:2

What an amazing statement. The writer is saying that some people have actually opened their homes to angels without knowing it. How incredible! Movies and television programs are full of the theme of angels stepping into the world and making an impact without us even knowing it. Movies like, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, “Angels in the Outfield”, and programs like “Touched by an Angel”, all revolve around angels in our midst. Put the writer to the Hebrews is not talking about fantasy. He is talking about real life.

It is mind blowing to think that people could put a sign outside their house saying that “An Angel Slept Here”. But what is more amazing to me is that there were probably some people who missed the opportunity by actually turning a stranger away. If people showed hospitality to angels without knowing it, then certainly people turned away angels without knowing it. What a missed opportunity that must have been.

What really is the challenge for us today is to consider the role of radical hospitality today. The move away from any kind of hospitality to a culture in which we hide behind out walls and separate ourselves from others is well documented. How often does the typical suburbanite drive home from work, hit the garage door remote, pull into the garage, put down the door and the walk into the house without ever engaging their neighbors? Most people don’t even know their neighbors names. What a radical shift it would be if Christians actually started inviting their neighbors over for a barbecue or Super Bowl party. But that stuff is not even close to being radical.

The early church was radical. Paul could travel anywhere there were Christians and always have a place to stay. It was so common for Christians to open their homes to others that at the turn of the first century there were already written down standards for such things. It was considered a privilege to open your home to people. Today we only see the extra work and burden of it all.

When I look at our family I can see that we have done some things of radical hospitality but we pale in comparison to those first generations of Christians. The past Christmas we opened our home for a week to two students from Taiwan whom we had never met before. They are not Christians but we had some great conversations about God. The best part was that they started the conversations by asking questions. An added blessing was that my youngest son, Garrett, got to practice his Mandarin with them and build an ongoing relationship.  In September we had three men from Zambia stay with us. Again we never met them before, but we provided a home for them for a few days. In that case it was so they could be part of a choir raising money to support a school in their hometown in Africa. There are more such stories but the point you would get from all of them is that every time we have opened our home to others, we have been blessed far beyond what we sacrificed.

The most common objection people give to opening their home to strangers is a fear for the safety of the family. Yet, if we really pray and seek God in this we should not fear. I have a friend in South Africa who opened his home to a man who was just released from prison. The man was on parole after having spent years in jail on a murder charge. My friend and his wife opened their home and as a result they are being used by God to change this mans life. That is the kind of hospitality God wants us to demonstrate because that is provocative and changes lives for His glory.