Contentment and Jealousy

How to Be Content

I just want to be married!

Recently my wife and I spoke with a young woman who was struggling to be content.

She has strong faith.  She loves the Lord Jesus.

But she longs to be married.  And so sometimes she feels deeply discontent.

And she wondered what she could do to find more contentment.

She’s not alone

We all struggle with contentment.  Maybe it’s not about getting married.

But we might feel discontentment over our —

• careers
• marriages
• homes
• cars
• health
• income
• lives in general

But there’s good news

Here’s what Paul said about contentment —

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  (Phil 4:11-12)

So no matter what our circumstances — it’s always possible to be content.

That might sound impossible.  And I’m certainly not saying I never feel discontentment.

But Paul is clear — it’s possible to never feel discontentment.

How is that possible?

It’s because God promises to completely satisfy our hearts in Jesus Christ.

Look at these Scriptures —

Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'”  Now this He said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive.  John 7:37-38

Is your heart thirsty for marriage?  A better job?  A nicer car?  Jesus promises that if you will come to Him and drink, He will  pour His Spirit upon you so powerfully that all your heart-thirsts — including your thirst for marriage, a better job, or a nicer car — will be completely satisfied.

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.  Psalm 90:14

Moses wrote this psalm.  So what satisfied Moses’ heart?  God’s steadfast love.  When Moses understood, saw, sensed, and felt God’s steadfast love, he was so satisfied — so content — that he rejoiced and was glad.

Whom have I in heaven but you?  And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.  Psalm 73:25

Asaph (who wrote this psalm) had times when God so filled his heart that he desired nothing else.  Nothing.  That’s contentment.

Not will-power — but heart-experience

Please don’t misunderstand.

It’s not that we grit our teeth and cling to the truth that God is all-satisfying — even though we feel empty.

It’s that we can have times when we feel and experience God completely satisfying our hearts in Himself.

This does not mean we stop desiring marriage — or a better job.

But it means that in the meantime we are fully content and satisfied in God.

How can we experience this?

In John 7:37-38 (quoted above) Jesus promises to pour His Spirit upon us so powerfully that our heart-thirsts are completely satisfied in Him.

And He tells us how we can experience this — by coming to Him and drinking.  Which is another way of saying — by believing in Him.

So how do we do that?  Here are steps I’ve found helpful —

• Turn to Jesus just as you are — trusting Him to give you everything you need.
• Confess your discontentment — that you’ve been trusting something besides Him to satisfy your heart.
• Receive the assurance of His complete forgiveness based on His death and resurrection.
• Ask Him to pour upon you the work of His Spirit — to help you see and feel and experience Him as your all-satisfying Treasure.
• Set your heart upon the truth of who God is and what God has done — thinking and pondering and meditating on specific Scriptures.
• Pray over those Scriptures until — by the work of the Spirit — you taste and feel God’s all-satisfying presence.

This is what Jesus means when He says “come to me and drink.”

And He promises that when you do — your thirsty soul will be filled and overflowing with rivers of living water.

You will be completely content — in Him.

That’s how to be content.

The Bible and Jealousy: How to Fight the Fight of Faith

To my shame, I sometimes feel jealous toward pastors who are more well-known than me.

This is serious, because Paul says those who practice jealousy “will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal 5:20-21).

So what’s behind my jealousy?

Jealousy is the pain that arises when someone has something you don’t have, which you think you need to be fully satisfied.

So if I am jealous of someone’s lakefront house, it’s because I believe I need a lakefront house to be fully satisfied.

Or if I am jealous of someone’s athletic ability, it’s because I believe I need more athletic ability to be fully satisfied.

Or (this is my problem) if I am jealous of someone’s fame, it’s because I believe I need more fame to be fully satisfied.

So when I’m jealous, the problem lies in my faith — I’m not trusting Jesus’ promise that He Himself will fully satisfy me (John 6:35).  And I am trusting that something else will satisfy me more than Jesus.

The fight of faith

So how can I fight the fight of faith to overcome jealousy?

Here’s steps I find helpful.

Set your faith back on Jesus Christ.  Even with your jealous feelings.  Even with your weak faith.

You don’t need to overcome your jealousy first.  You can’t.  Come to Jesus just as you are, and trust Him to forgive you, change you, deliver you.  He will.  Every time.

See what’s going on in your heart.  Identify the focus of your jealousy — what is it you think you need to be happy?  Friends?  Good looks?  Getting pregnant?  Money?  Be specific.

In my case — it’s fame.

So what is the problem?  It’s not that I have too little fame.  It’s that I have turned from trusting Jesus to satisfy me, and I am trusting fame to satisfy me.

When you and I are jealous we are like a thirsty person who turns from an overflowing fountain of cold, clear, refreshing water — to make our own water jars that end up bone-dry and broken (Jer 2:13).

Why do we do this?  The root cause is our own sin.  So –

Confess this as sin. Understand that you are trusting fame (or whatever) more than Christ.  Which means you are not trusting Jesus’ promise that He will satisfy your heart-thirst in Himself (John 6:35).

This greatly dishonors Christ — because He is the all-satisfying Treasure of the universe, and because His every promise is trustworthy.  So ask God to help you see and feel how wrong this is — and confess it to Him.  Ask Him forgive you and cleanse you.

By faith alone in Christ alone you can be assured that you are completely forgiven, clothed with Jesus perfect moral goodness, and passionately loved by God — who rejoices to do you good with all His heart and soul (Jer 32:41).

Pray earnestly for the work of the Spirit.  By yourself you can’t change your heart.  You need a supernatural work of the Spirit.

So humble yourself before God, admit that you need His undeserved mercy, and plead with God to enlighten the eyes of your heart so you see and feel that Jesus is infinitely more satisfying than whatever it is you are jealous for (Eph 1:17-18).

Prayerfully set your heart on Jesus.  Look at verses describing Jesus’ mercy, goodness, justice, and power — like Luke 7:13; Gal 2:20; Rev 1:5; Rev 5:9.  Look at promises of how Christ will completely satisfy your heart — like Matt 11:28-29; John 6:35; John 7:37-39; 1Cor 12:13.

Earnestly meditate on God’s Word until the Spirit destroys your unbelief, renews your faith in Christ, and you feel once again that Jesus Christ — not fame or money or friends — is all you need to be satisfied now and forever.

This may not happen quickly.  For me it often happens slowly.  But even this is God’s goodness towards us — as the slower times humble us, deepen our longings, and make the deliverance all the sweeter when it comes.

So be patient, and keep praying earnestly over God’s Word until you experience God’s Spirit changing your heart.  Be encouraged by Scriptures like Psa 13:3; Psa 42:1-2; Psa 63:1.

Two preventative steps

There are also two other steps which can keep jealousy from returning.

First, lift up to God the desires of your heart.

Let’s say you long to get pregnant, and you are jealous that someone else is pregnant.  You have fought the fight of faith, you are again trusting Jesus as your all-satisfying Treasure, and you are free from jealousy.

But even though you are satisfied in Christ, you still long to get pregnant.

So lift up your longing to the Father.  Pray and ask God to enable you to get pregnant.  Pour out your soul before Him.  Feel free to weep before Him — as Hannah did (1Sam 1:10).  Be honest with Him about your desires.

Lifting your desires to the Father will help you be content so you are strong against jealousy.

Second, trust that God withholds nothing good from you.

God promises that whatever He gives you is tailor-made to bring you the most joy in Christ.  That’s true about fame, promotions, friends — everything.  That’s the point of Psa 34:10 and Psa 84:11.

So whether God does or does not give me fame — whatever He chooses will bring me the most joy in Christ.

Trusting that God withholds nothing good from me will help me squash jealousy when it tempts me.

- See more at: http://livingbyfaithblog.com/2012/04/17/the-bible-and-jealousy-how-to-fight-the-fight-of-faith/#sthash.DzEnz8wS.dpuf