Monday, January 11, 2016

Forgiveness

So Lord, First of all, I'm sorry for holding onto this for so long and being bitter and longing for acceptance from a man instead of choosing to find my acceptance in you alone.

Abba, I choose to trust you for acceptance. I will not look for it in a man. I'm done. Their opinion doesn't matter but it does matter that I choose to love and keep my heart open.

Abba, I know you love Justin. He is your son and as frustrating as his sin hurts me, you want me to forgive as you have forgiven me. Abba, I say I forgive him for communicating poorly this Sunday. I give you all my fear and perceived rejection. Abba please help me not to look to him for acceptance. I ask for peace in my heart to truly rely on you alone. Thank you for my  brothers, help me to relate to them like my brothers and my friends. Help me not to expect or treat them differently in my heart or mind. I ask for your grace to treat my brothers like brothers. that we are friends and you are our dad. Sorry for making this relationship in my mind bigger than what you have designed it to be. Purify my heart and my mind. Set my heart and mind on things above, not on earthly things. Help me to see from your perspective and to be filled with your Word.

Abba, i forgive Justin for the past. For physical things. for emotional ties. for manipulation. for selfishness. for rejection. i forgive him for lying, and for using me. I forgive him for the secrecy and the impurity and the games. Lord please forgive me for my part as well. For the manipulation, mistrust, accusation, fear, control, codependancy, anger, bitterness. Lord, I give you all my hurt. I say that I no longer hold these things against him. And I want you to no longer hold them against him either. I can't bring them up any more because you have dealt with them and I ask you to have mercy on me and on him. We both were being selfish in this relationship. I give you Justin and I give you Kristina. You can make me new, you are the author of my identity. Rip apart my old self ...built on men, performance and self reliance. Make me a new woman, humble, lowly, gentle, patient, filled with mercy and loving kindness, filled with peace and fully committed to you. I want to look to you and you alone for my source of acceptance. FROM THIS DAY ON.

I choose you, Jesus.

I choose your acceptance. Your love. Your acceptance. Your mercy. Your forgiveness. Your praise. your pleased. I want YOUR concern. I want to fear you. I want to please you. I want to know you. I want to run after you. I want to love you. I want to humble myself and serve you. I want to lay down my honor and position. and desire for selfish ambition. Father, I'm sorry for wanting a position, a title, something to latch onto for my worth. Thank you that you are my value and my worth. You are my acceptance. You cherish me and you accept me. I am loved by you. Break through my heart of stone and help me to look only to you for my source of life. I'm sorry for looking for it in men. Keep my eyes on you. Help me to love others like you do and to treat my brothers with honor and to love them with purity. Father be my source. you alone. You alone I am to please and to look to. You love my hair. You love my body. You love and accept the way you have created my personality. I repent for hating what you have made. I repent for hating your body (of Christ) of comparing and hating others. Abba give me your heart to trust you help me to love my carpooling team with the caliber love of Christ. Help me to love my house with your caliber of love. Fill me up to overflowing and clean out the blockages. Clear out my fear. Clean up the pipes. I don't have to be wounded when you are my source and my Father who cares for me dearly. Help me to believe truth.


Your enemy, the devil, will do anything to hinder you from accepting and receiving this love. This is what Paul warned us about, “Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons” (1 Timothy 4:1). Demons want to deceive you into believing that God doesn’t really love you this much. If you embrace these “doctrines of demons,” you will “depart from the faith,” from the confidence that God loves you as much as He loves Jesus Christ Himself. When you doubt the Father’s love, you are straying from the faith.
Oh the power that is released when we believe and accept His love for us! loves you despite your immaturity. He loves you even with your volatile temper problem. He loves you even with your body weight. He loves you even with your struggles with lust. He accepts you even with all your quirky ways. He accepts you because of who He is, not because of who you are. Let the Holy Spirit place this deep within your consciousness: you are wildly and irrevocably loved and enjoyed by God!

Allow these assurances of God’s acceptance once again to wash your soul and renew your mind:
·         “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you” (Jeremiah 31:3).
·         “the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out” (John 6:37).
·          to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6).
·         For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together (Romans 8:15-17).
·         Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God (Romans 15:7).

The third step to healing from rejection is found in this simple but profound statement: When God accepts me, I need acceptance from no one else.
Now, it’s nice to get acceptance from other people. But for the believer it’s not necessary. When we realize we are accepted and embraced by the great God of the universe, the acceptance of people becomes secondaryAll I really need is His acceptance. When I have that, I can face rejection fromanyone and everyone else.
This is how Jesus lived. He had the Father’s acceptance satisfying His soul on the inside, so He didn’t need anyone else’s acceptance to give Him a sense of self-identity. When the Father said, “this is My beloved Son in whom I am well pleased,” I can imagine Jesus’ heart response being something like, “That’s all I need! Just to know You approve of My life, Father, is enough for Me. Now I am complete and at rest in Your affection and approval. I don’t care who rejects Me, as long as I know You accept Me!”

Somebody might say, “I know we’re supposed to be satisfied with nothing but God’s approval, but sometimes I just need a hug from some flesh and blood.” I must disagree. As long as we look to flesh and blood for our approval, we will be snared by seasons of frustration and disappointment. I cannot back down on this point. My message is very direct: Jesus plus nothing. I need Jesus plus nothing else. When I have Him, I truly need nothing else. When I have His endorsement, I need no one else’s endorsement. When I have His acceptance and approval, I need acceptance and approval from no other source. His acceptance alone is enough. I will build further upon this premise, so I cannot back down from it.


Abba,

Help me to love. To accept and receive your love and to give it out to others :)

I love you. I'm glad to have you back too :)

Love, Kristina

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